Sometimes OutLiving Can Be Hard

Almost 20 years ago, I lost my brother to an unexpected pulmonary embolism. He was only 28. Last year I lost one of my best friends to cancer. It was a brave and painful battle. She was only 46.

My brother and my friend never knew each other, but they both shared one thing in common: they were both full of life. They were both that kind of person that you could say they knew how to live. Oh, yeah, they did! And they enjoyed every single moment of it. Life for them was precious and treasured. A joy, an on going party or celebration. A means to experience different things. Some times not that easy, but always worth living.

When I had to deal with their losses I could not help but to wonder why life ended so soon for them. Why two people who actually exhale life and enjoyed so much being alive had to die while I, a person who seems to struggle with every breathe I take, am still here, not living but just surviving. I know it is never fair to compare and that the neighbor’s grass is always greener, but it is such a brutal contrast that it is unavoidable. Why someone like me is still here and they are not? How come?

And no, I haven’t come up with an answer yet but right now I am guessing I am still here because I have a lesson or two to learn on how to live and enjoy every single moment of it. A lesson in how to enjoy the strawberries, lemons and the blueberries. A lesson to treasure my experiences and make the most of each one of them. A lesson to enjoy living, not only surviving.

It must be it. It could only be it.

Right?