Frozen

Photo: Pixabay.

Yet, still moving.

Where to?

No idea.

But always moving.

Away from my dreams.

For sure.

Because they are THE things I am doing my very best (or worst?) avoiding to go for.

So I move…

In other directions.

Any direction.

Away from them.

That is why I fell stuck, frozen in time. Because although I am moving I am going nowhere really. Not where I should go.

And that sucks.

Big time.

Not only because time is getting short each day, month and year I procrastinate yet another step in the right direction.

But because deep inside I know I am not doing what I am suppose to do.

Funny thing is I don’t think I am moving too far from my dreams.

I stick around.

Just in case?

With a wide opened eye on them.

A heart beating in their rhythm.

But my feet, damn feet!, follows my scary mind that keep on walking away from them.

Poor thing.

Just going round and round, waiting to jump in any moment.

Actually, not in any any moment, but the perfect moment when inspiration becomes so impossible to avoid that I have no other alternative other than jump in.

All in.

Organically.

Fully.

But the sad true is the fear of failure (or should I say, to succeed?), the ghost of perfectionism, the critical devil inside keep guarding me from this vital jump.

With words.

Emotions.

Blindness.

Anxiety.

Procrastination.

Till when will I be around waiting for that perfect moment that will never ever come? I wonder.

Because there is no such thing as the perfect moment. Just the moment. And by itself, without harsh judgements or romantic ideals, it can become the perfect moment.

Or something very close to it.

I don’t fear the answer. I know the answer.

What I fear the most is to know that even knowing the recipe to unfrozen me, here I am, frozen as an Iceberg.

Floating.

But not really.

Stuck.

And yet moving.

Round and round.

Going nowhere.

With this huge and amazing ocean to brave ahead.

And This Is How I Started My New Year

With my Morning Walk. As usual. As I have been doing since a year ago when I decided to walk every morning to heal my left knee. The knee is 100% again but I kept my Morning Walks as a routine ever since. A routine that goes beyond an acquired habit; it’s my beloved way to start my day. Some people do it with a cup of coffee, for me it’s my Morning Walks. They set my vibe for day. Plus, it’s that moment, my moment to be out there with green nature around and all the colors that live inside me. As I listen to my music set for the day, I listen to my thoughts and the absence of it. I breathe in, I breathe out, respiration, perspiration, perception, feelings, inspiration, expiration. It’s like a Moving Meditation, an inner talk between me, myself and I. And the Universe. It’s Zen, Real, Mine. And I really appreciate every minute of it. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Regardless the weather.

That is why, year in, year out, here I am, Morning Walking. Not because the calories burnt and the cardio workout (although they are both pluses), but because it’s something that makes me feel good inside by doing it. It lights my inner fire, my inner light. That is why I keep on doing it. And there is no better motivation to keep morning walking than this.

#HappyNewYear #EveryDayMotivation #KeepWalking

“Happiness can’t be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every single minute with love, grace (and I add: radiance) and gratitude.”

– Denis Waitley

Happy Thanksgiving!๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’—

About A Broken Heart

It hurts. A lot. And it’s supposed to. After all, it’s a broken heart.

Sometimes we get sad, disappointed and even angry with the other person (because, seriously, how could they?๐Ÿคฃ). Sometimes, we get sad, disappointed and so angry with ourselves (because, seriously, how could we make the same mistake again of falling for the wrong person once again?๐Ÿ˜”).

Other times, a mix of both.

No matter the case, it hurts. And it does, because when we welcome somebody to our world, give them a key to our heart so they can come in and make themselves comfortable, they become a piece of it. The heart expands and accommodates. And when, suddenly that piece leaves, it’s no longer there, we get a hole, a windy, cold, painful hole. That aches. That longs for that little tiny piece to come back. To feel whole, cozy and warm again.

Our hearts take time to realize that once, not so long ago, it worked and functioned without that little tiny piece that now is missing. And it can and will function properly again without it.

Eventually.

If, better, when we let it be.

But until then, it does ache.

A lot.

But guess what? It’s much much better to feel that broken heart pain than to feel nothing. No pain, no love, just nothing. The void of numbness can be a much worse feeling. And usually is.

Much.

Trust me. Been there. Done that. I’d rather feeling each inch of a broken heart than feel absolutely nothing at all. Because being alive is the experience of feeling, whatever we feel, good, bad, beautiful or ugly. And when we don’t, we feel dead inside. And although breathing with the heart beating and the mind thinking, we are pretty much dead.

And is there a worst “feeling” than this?

You Don’t Need To Learn How To Meditate To Meditate

All you have to do is commit and show up to meditate every single day, at least once a day and you will be meditating. Regardless. Even if you think you aren’t. Because unlike you think, you can have thoughts and more thoughts coming in your way while meditating, you may need to still adjust your posture during it a few times, you can feel uncomfortable doing it for whatever the reason… You can even feel as if you are not meditating at all, but guess what? You are.

Image: Pixabay.

Because meditation is that time of the day that you choose to spend in your company. Mind, body, soul, spirit. All of you. The dark and the light side and every rainbow in between. It’s that moment that you chose to become more aware of you, of your breathe, even of your thoughts. The louder ones and the whispering ones.

And yes, if you get lucky from time to time you will gonna have that feeling, that experience of empty mind and the fullness of your own true self. But that is not the goal when you sit to meditate. The goal is to let those moments you spend meditating every day bring to your daily life a more serene approach to it, to get a sharper mind to focus and deal better if whatever it may come, to be more opened and compassionate with others, to align yourself with the Universe and flow with it, to be more aware and conscious of who you are, what is your bliss and be able to go for it, to help you go through heaven and hell right here on earth. That is what meditation is for.

And in order to get all the benefits of it you don’t need to learn or be the perfect Meditator. No. You just have to have to sit and breathe as deeply and slow as you can and let it be for some minutes every day. Consistently.

Can you do that?

Then you can meditate.

And if by any chance you said you can’t for this (oh, I don’t have time) or that (I can’t sit still for a few minutes), be aware that this is one big part of you speaking: your ego. Embrace it, hear it, give it a big hug and let it go. Your ego is just there to mess up with you and the way you interact with others and the world. It’s up to you to let it rule your life or not. Regarding meditation or any other subject.

Up to you. Like it’s to decide to give a chance to meditation.