Although deep in my heart I know this is so true, also deeper in there somewheret I am still waiting for that person to do this trick.
I know: stupid me. But I can’t help thinking that this would be soooooo much easier (right?) and magical (maybe?) than figuring out all by myself. Yep, I am lazy. And currently tired. Of failing. Of being stuck. Of never getting there.
But still, in spite of it all, I can sense that sparkle in me that doesn’t let me give up. Ever. Even if nobody else is coming for the rescue. I know I am enough. And that person I see in the mirror every single day will get there. Eventually.
Because sometimes, you need one more day to reboot the bad vibe. It happens.
Recently I had one of those heavy, bad days where everything seems to be bad, sad or hopelessly that there is not enough Meditation, Palo Santo or coarsed salt to sage it away. One bad news after another, one cruel slap after another. And I just kept reminding myself that tomorrow the vibe would be different, so I should hang it on there, keep breathing that it all shall pass. And that is how I went through that day: looking forward for a renewed tomorrow. And then tomorrow came and guess what? Although the heavy vibe was not around, in my early morning walk I sprained my ankle. Damn.
Sometimes the bad vibe ripple can still resonate for a little while.
Let it be. Don’t fight with it. Just let it be. For a while. Embrace it. Allow it to be. Get to know its reasons, be a friend to it. Listen to it. Welcome it. Comfort it. Get its back. Breathe all the way through. And let it be. Until it goes away on its own. Cause it will. Sooner than later. If you let it be.
In my spiritual journey, in my personal or professional life that is where I stand: not quite there yet. And in a way, it is Okay. But let’s face it: it can be highly frustrating. Especially when you read other people stories on how they made it. It feels like it all happened like magic, flew so well and the happy ending is lasting ever since. No backdrops. I am sure it is far from being the case (unless you are Carole King, although her happily ever after had some bad moments too), but that is how it looks like it. The truth is: being in the not quite there yet moment is so uncomfortable and there are a lot of agony, anxiety, sadness, doubts, uncertainties, fear, insecurity… that is really hard to talk about it, I believe. That is why we hear little about it.
But that is a shame, because when we are in the not quite there yet zone is when we need the most some ground, some feeling of relatability just to rest our heads on for a moment and yet, we cannot find it.
So if you are in the not quite there yet zone, be aware that you are not alone. I am also there, I am also lost, feeling something major is missing, not so sure if I am going to the right direction, doing the right things. Most of the time I feel I will never make it, that I am not good enough to make it. I feel not worthy. I feel terrible for being trapped here. Because it does feel as if I am trapped. With no perspective to get the hack out of here.
But I have faith. I have mu back. I am here and I am willing to keep up, keep going, hoping to get there. Eventually.
If I could send my younger self a note, it would be like this:
Travel more.
Dance more. Way more.
Learn how to invest asap (and pay close attention to newbies such as Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Google).
Don’t ever feel embarrassed for being really good at something. Not even if it is at negotiating.
Don’t waste a good idea, a good opportunity. Grab it, pursue it even if it seems too hard or something you cannot do it. You can. Give it a try. You have a good feeling for it. Your finger in the pulse is sharp.
Listen to your intuition. Trust it.
A bad relationship is a bad relationship. Learn from it but keep your heart opened, warm.
Don’t stop dreaming. At the moment it disappears, get it back. Or dream a new dream. But keep on dreaming. And going for it.
Feel the fear, but do it anyway is not just a great book title; it should be one of your mantras.
Give it a try at Kundalini Yoga. Please.
Keep on Meditating. Don’t give up because you think since your mind never shut up during it, you are not meditating. You are. Stop trying to control it. Let it be and keep up.
Keep wearing sunscreen all the way.
Drink lots of water.
Always keep your skin highly hydrated even when it is oily.
Exfoliate. Every. Single. Day. Face and body.
Wear beauty products indicated for women one decade ahead.
Be kind. Especially to yourself.
Say no whenever it is appropriated to you.
Don’t feel bad for prioritizing you.
It is super to be a vegetarian but for Christ’s sake, take a B 12 supplement. And all the co-factors needed to a proper Methylation. Methylation matters.
There is one thing called Perimenopause that some doctors seem to ignore. Google it. And apply when needed.
Give New York City a try asap. And keep going back there.
Bear this in mind: You deserve the best. You deserve prosperity. You deserve great, loyal, fun friends. You deserve a life fully lived. You deserve a bliss. You deserve the man of your dreams. Nothing less.
Fab After 47 