For any introvert person, being social is a draining thing. Full stop. And this is not related to bad energy around or anything like this. So, don’t take it personal if you aren’t an introvert. Obviously that this can make things even drainer for any introvert but still, it really doesn’t matter how pleasant or unpleasant the experience is, how good vibe or bad vibe a person or a group of people is, socializing it’s always draining. Because interacting with people are draining for us.
And honestly, as far as my experience as an introvert goes, being social virtually is pretty much the same as being social in person. It’s still a draining thing.
At a first glance being social virtually could seem like a good opportunity for us introverts to mingle more easily since apparently we are kind of protected, shielded from different sides of a computer’s screen (or phone/tablet). But the truth is we are not. Because the draining problem isn’t related to shyness but the energy we tend to expend when socializing. It’s all about energy. Therefore, it really doesn’t matter where that socializing thing happens, if it’s in a living room or in a chat room. We will feel drained with this experience, regardless.
And because of that we might need to leave a chat or a party a little earlier than most and get some alone, quiet time to recharge right after that. And for as long as our “introvertness” needs to recover.
Unfortunately or fortunately, socializing is a draining thing that we, introverts can’t skip nowadays since socializing virtually or in person is a big part of our social and professional lives. It’s a must if we wanna keep in touch with friends and family and if we wanna grow professionally. It’s simply impossible don’t incorporate that.
It’s our onus to the bonus. And we try to deal the best we can with it.
And if you want to know more about Introverts, here is a link with other interesting issues about it.
Well, according to this article on The Atlantic, yes, the Instagram aesthetic is over. Or about to be. At least, there is a trend that is starting to get shape among Millennials (who else?) who are seeking to portray in their Instagram feeds a more real deal life.
To be honest, as I said in a previous post I don’t think that is the case just yet. All I see out there, at least among the most followed and liked people/brands is beautiful, perfect, super produced photos. A totally insta life. That is still what people in general seem to gravitate to. Instagram remains a window to scape from their own reality, a dreamy station. Just like Fashion magazines used to be and still are for those who keep on buying and reading them. I confess: I am not one of them. Although sometimes I have a look here and there at the stand or bookstore to see what is going on. Yep, pretty much the same.
I just hope that this new trend sticks and grows up to the point that actually offers another aesthetic option that is followable. Something to refresh the air over there. Because visually, it can tire you up.
And yes, I am still over there. Struggling to find my visual voice, taking horrible selfies, very uncomfortable when posing, still clueless about lighting, having no idea how to put on some interesting stories… yep, failing highly over there. If you want to follow my Insta ordeal, here is my handler @fabafter47M
Today I woke up thinking about comparison. Because it is impossible to navigate through Instagram without comparing yourself at some level. Especially when you are placing yourself out there as a brand, as I am trying to. My idea when I decided to have a presence in that particular social media was to voice my perspective regarding my life as a post-menopausal woman who went through hell and came back not only to tell her story but also to live in style. And loving every moment of it. But in a realistic, down to earth way, not in an Instagram way.
Well, first my moment at this moment is far from being lovable. Lots of dark clouds around, uncertainty, sadness, even some depression… Which is ok, it is part of living. And at least I am glad to be able to feel it again, even the bad things, cause for a long time I was simply numb. To everything. But still, not a shiny moment to be out there.
Second: I found a lot of stylish, interesting women around my age and older doing their thing out there. And rocking it. It is really fun, inspiring to look up to them. They got their place already and I think women around my age is pretty well represented. Which makes me think that I am late and kind of irrelevant right now. That is what comparison is all about, right?
Third: as I said above, my idea was to bring some down-to-earth kind of style/lifestyle. But the feeling I get on Instagram is that people over there want an Instagram reality not a real-deal one, with its ups and downs, its beautiful and ugly sides. People want high-production, shine happy, fun people all the time. And only that. For me this a bit tiring, draining even because nobody is like that all the time. Life is not just black or white, it is a mixture of them both and every color in between. And the energy to fake it is touchable out there. Which makes the whole experience extremely exhausting for someone empathic as I am. And I am not even gonna talk about how eventful their lives are: traveling every where, going to places all the time… I get tired just by looking at their busy routine… Oh, my!
Also, it is impossible not to look up to other feeds and compare to yours. And for a person like me, with a very lively sense of aesthetics, my feed looks terribly underwhelming. Pretty much my mood lately at some level. Which makes me want to up my game. But then I will lose my main inspiration to be there.
Fourth: man, how hard it is to grow organically out there. And here as well, for that matter. Some times it can really get into you. It is disappointing. And lonely. And it makes you want to give up because you think you are going nowhere and everything you are doing is pure crap, anyways. The others are the ones who are mastering it, so you don’t belong there. Or here.
And yes, I do know I do. Blogging at least is my place to be. I love it. And I know I used to be damn good at it. Just looking forward to find my voice and speak the hack of me. Because after all, everybody has its place. We just have to find it where it is. And let it shine.
And how about you? How are you dealing with comparison?
True that Social Media is definitely not my cup of tea and Instagram is probably my least favorite of them all but hey, I am trying. And if you wanna help me on that, follow me over there @fabafter47.
There I post about my personal style, my personal stylist life, my cats, my trips, my favorite things, my spiritual journey, myself. Actually I am using Instagram to reconnect with my passion with fashion, my passion to dress up. Since I know myself that getting ready to go out for a party, an event, a job, whatever was always my favorite part. Loved the whole process. The event itself… not so much. I am not a very social person, that is why.
And yet, putting myself together used to be fun. And I miss that. Now things are more robotic in this area for me. I just grab something in my closet, pick a bag, a shoe/sandals, wear my basic non-makeup makeup and go for the same accessories as I usually do. No sparkling in my eyes, no soul warming on that.
A pity. That I hope is about to be over.
Anyways, if you show up there, don’t forget to say hi, so I can follow you back.
When fashion bloggers started posting their looks and short after that they became a huge success giving a run for high fashion magazines and their editorials money I thought “it was about time”. Because back then I was a little tired of fashion editorials being way too dreamy, way too far from reality. I was hunger for fashion inspiration that was more relatable to our real lives. More down to earth-ish. Something still dreamy but that we could easily pull off in your daily life, if we want to. And that whole idea, of real clothes worn by real people in real life, who would have guessed, could indeed be something possible, inspiring AND profitable as the fashion bloggers proved to be true.
Because yes, the fashion bloggers’ looks of the day, at their beginnings, were pretty much that: a more relatable source of fashion inspiration. It was worn from girls next door not typical fashion models. A totally different vibe from fashion magazines and their editorials. It was refreshing and reinvigorating. Woo-hoo!
However that didn’t last for long, unfortunately. As soon as fashion bloggers became major fashion influencers (even before they adopted this name) the whole aesthetic of the looks of the day started gradually but steadily morphing into the ones we used to see in fashion editorials. If you have a look right now you will see that the majority of young fashion influencers’ feed on Instagram looks like they belong to a high fashion magazine not from a person’s life.
The photos are professional looking, so well thought and executed, the scenario is photogenic, the light is amazing, the clothes are div(a)ine…
It looks like a fashion editorial. In everything. And it is far from evoking a little sample of anyone’s real life. Even from a Hollywood diva. Too done, too glam, too unreal. Even if the look itself is kind of relatable.
But most of the time, not even the looks are that relatable…
I mean, who the hell is gonna wear a bikini on the beach with lots of stripes all around the torso and risk to get those ugly tan marks in real life? Or would opt for a one shoulder bathing suit for the same obviously reason? They are not practical and certainly will not look good, nor fashionable in real life. They can make a great picture, but that is it.
The same can be said about beauty bloggers. The make up is so heavy and done that personally I wouldn’t even consider it for a night out. And they are wearing for their morning events… Oh, my!
Then why wear something like that to portray what is supposed to be your reality; your reality aka your selling point, back then?
Ok, I get it: to sell a specific product or to portray a certain enviable lifestyle or even a personal style, but common, fashion people? This looks more like a make-believe style/lifestyle than the real deal. And in my opinion, young fashion influencers got their cake’s slice for daring to be an alternative to what fashion mags stood for so many years… they got it for being different, for being more people’s people, for being more the woman next door rather than a Hollywood diva and because of that, not despite of it, they became a huge success. And when the success came they just forget about it and shift into the opposed direction they were pointing to, the usual ruler’s aesthetics.
For me, particularly, it is sad and makes no sense.
Of course I know this fashion editorial aesthetic is selling, otherwise it would not have survived, but I just wonder if they have kept their initial spirit whether or not they wouldn’t be selling double as much…
Or maybe not. And I am the wrong one here. Who knows?
Even so, I do feel that is such a pity. A disappointment even. And a loss of opportunity. That is why I am here, giving my two cents about. I think everyone should do whatever they feel up to and I respect their choices. I only hope that this table turn again and women restart to crave for more down to earth, doable fashion dreams. That is the only way to shift the wind, regardless.
Detail: I am giving my two cents on the younger fashion influencers although I am a 4.7 woman because as a Personal Stylist, to keep my fashion finger on the pulse, they are mostly the ones I have to keep my eyes on. They are the ones portraying what is supposed to be going on. Plus, there are not so many, let’s say, after 40s fashion/beauty influencers and almost none with the range of followers that the younger ones have. This is a niche still crawling in the profitable social media ground.
Having said that, one thing that is still refreshing for me to see among them is that many of the after 40s influencers keep their foot on the ground, they are way more reality driven, way more relatable and yet inspiring like those two fabulous women. And I confess: I was not aware of any of them before I started this blog. Firstly, because social media is not really my thing (I like blogging! hehehe) and secondly because I have never heard of them before in my internet research. I had to do some specific research to reach them. And I am glad I did.
Just hope this niche gets its proper cake slice. But keeps this refreshing real-deal spirit all the way through and beyond.