Well, if I knew the path to solve this dilemma I wouldn’t be here stuck, eating sugar compulsively, procrastinating like a crazy person as if I had plenty of time to do whatever… Instead, I would be out there or just here, getting, in fact, some major business done.
And man, how I need to get some business done. I am desperately for it. Lately I have had so many good ideas that I want to put in practice, so many projects to work on, so many posts to write about, so many things to say, to share… Yep, overwhelming. And of course, I want everything to come across just perfect. As perfect as it is in my mind. And when I start to execute and notice that is not quite like it, I freeze, I get stuck. And I do because I doubt myself and my ability in doing something as perfect as I expect them to be. This curb totally my enthusiasm, my drive to do whatever.
I remember when I was a teenager and wanted to start a journal, write my thoughts or anything that came to my mind in a gorgeous notebook and obviously in a beautiful way. But I never ever managed to started one because in my mind my writing was not that great and my calligraphy was messy, rushy and ugly. So, no way I would be able to journal as “I should”. Therefore, why bother doing it in a first place?…
Right? If in order for someone to be pleased with that action, that level of perfection is required, then probably right.
However, if someone was looking for something else, like a vent escape, a place to anchor their thoughts and let their feelings unfold, then probably wrong.
As I read somewhere recently:
“Perfectionism is the fear of being criticized.”
Not so sure if I agree with that. Because if that is the case, as my example above illustrated so well, ship has sailed cause even before we start or when we are just starting something, we are already being heavily criticized by ourselves. And that criticism never stops. And usually a perfectionist’s critic on the self is way harder than anyone else could possibly be.
But maybe that is why we, perfectionists are afraid of criticism. What if other people’s critic is even harder than ours?
Would that be even possible? Just wondering here…
But if it is, we are so used to our own that it shouldn’t be much harder to deal with other’s harsh thoughts…
In any case, underneath it all, there is a serious mind and emotional game playing on and on that doesn’t allow me to live by the only mantra that I truly believe could break this perfectionism spell: just go and do it, imperfectly, but do it. Because there is no other way to address this matter. No meditation, no therapy, no breathe. Just plain behavioral mindset. Go and do it. Imperfectly but done should be good enough.
It is not for a perfectionist, but it should. That is what keep successful people doing. And greatly.
Because they know there is no such thing as perfection. Just:
Perfectly Imperfect.
Or Imperfectly Perfect.
They know perfectionism is an unreachable goal that we set to sabotage ourselves in doing something, anything. That is why it doesn’t matter to them. Not as much. Not to the point of keeping them from doing it.
Deep inside, I particularly know that to be true, but still, it is very hard to accept that and live by that. Cause even deeper inside we are programmed to reach perfectionism.
Damn!
But I guess, if we want to move out of this perfectionism hole, this is the only rope around we have. So, that is my plan to beat that perfectionism monster within. Keep doing it. The best I can. Perfectly Imperfect. Imperfectly Perfect. Regardless what my bitchy perfectionist self think.
Fab After 47 